in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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