y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
