dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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