I wannas sexs uuuuu
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
As shirtless as possible
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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