In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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