Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
