look no pants
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
