hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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