Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
