I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
