If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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