This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize
