Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
