What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
