i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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