Don't you send me to vm
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize