My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
your like the ambassador to my penis.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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