I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
