I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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