I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
