the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
