he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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