I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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