the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
