I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
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