Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
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