I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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