i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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