shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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