Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
the liver wants what the liver wants
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
