just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
