Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
