i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
