I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
