I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
