I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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