It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
