New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
