On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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