Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
