do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He better not be in your backpack
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
