oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize