Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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