you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
