People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
