If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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