i may or may not be watching the land before time
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
