Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
