Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
accomplished twins. life is a go
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just gift wrapped bread.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize