At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
