I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
