so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
