yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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