4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
