East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Randomize
