You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
