If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
