Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
