the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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