she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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