Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
