i may or may not be watching the land before time
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
