My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
