Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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