I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
