i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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